The Psychology of Lingerie
Looking comfortable and confident on the outside, while feeling feminine and sexy on the inside, is what wearing lingerie is all about. And knowing there’s something beautiful hidden under our clothing can definitely add a spring in our step and some sass to our style, especially when our bodies are going through some of life’s most challenging moments. Whether it’s illness, pregnancy, menopause or simply aging, it’s important that we feel strong and vibrant in our own skin. Gifting ourselves something new and beautiful can be just the form of self-love and self-care we need. In fact, making a conscious effort to look good can boost our overall morale. To learn more about the psychology of lingerie and why our most intimate garments can represent a gateway to a better quality of life, read on.
For us, not our partners.
We don’t try to impress our partners with our sexiest undergarments or save them for a special occasion. We wear lingerie for ourselves, and we wear it whenever we want to. Who ever said we can’t wear sexy lingerie under our sweats?
“Our outfits are typically bound by cultural and societal norms, meaning that we don’t always have the freedom to express our specific tastes through our everyday styles. Lingerie sets, on the other hand, do not have to conform to such norms because they are for our eyes only…This freedom can be therapeutic for the wearer as it allows them to wear sets in styles that are a true reflection of their creativity and personal tastes,” says Shakaila Forbes-Bell, a fashion psychologist and founder of Fashion Is Psychology.
The truth is, clothing affects us psychologically. What we wear alters the way we feel. Because we think not just with our brains but with our bodies. This phenomenon is called “Embodied Cognition” which explores the symbolic meaning of clothing and the physical experience of wearing it.
“Feeling confident can make us appear more physically attractive because we tend to stand, walk, speak and gesticulate differently,” said Carolyn Mair, a behavioral psychologist, author of “The Psychology of Fashion.” We get a mental health boost when we wear nice lingerie. It boosts our self-esteem, even if we’re the only ones seeing it. Buying and putting on nicer sets of bras and panties can affirm our self-worth. It shows us that we’re deserving of time and effort (because we all are!).
“Feeling confident can make us appear more physically attractive because we tend to stand, walk, speak and gesticulate differently,” said Carolyn Mair, a behavioral psychologist, author of “The Psychology of Fashion” and founder of psychology.fashion. We get a mental health boost when we wear nice lingerie. It boosts our self-esteem, even if we’re the only ones seeing it.
Lingerie is self-love.
Buying and putting on nicer sets of bras and panties can affirm our self-worth. It shows us that we’re deserving of time and effort (because we all are!). Whether it’s a new matching bra and panty set that makes us sexy or just an upgrade in quality, comfort and feel, we’re giving ourselves some love when we make that purchase and decide to put it on one day. When we put time and energy into our undergarments, getting dressing, eating well, skincare, it’s a way of treating ourselves.
Wearing the right kind of lingerie is one of the first steps to self-care. By slipping on something pretty that heightens our mood, or something soft that nurtures our skin and makes us feel comfortable, we are likely to find that our confidence and sense of self will slowly regain.
Reclaim our femininity.
Everything is connected and we are one part of a whole. Therefore, everything we think, say or do has a consequence. Those soft words in our hearts, we tend to ignore, are our superpowers. Intuition telling us our answers. Femininity is a way of being and it’s inside each and every one us. Even though we may not feel that way sometimes, we must accept who we really are. We are fierce, gentle and wild. And wearing lingerie is one way we can access those feelings with a sense of sexual liberation and strength.
For those who have experienced injury, loss or change to crucial body parts, such as our breast(s), surgery can leave us feeling emotionally and psychologically depleted. Getting acquainted with our new shape, becoming familiar with limitations and accepting new normals in terms of strength and mobility all take time. It’s essential to be patient as we adjust to our new bodies and needs.
“Reclaiming the feminine. It is about reclaiming our intuition, the voice that speaks in the dark. About reconnecting with the one who reveals herself in the moonlight, in the whispers of dead leaves crackling under our feet. She, the impermanent One, shining in the eyes of a newborn child and in the creases of an old man’s hands. She, the force of change. Powerful beyond measure. Forever untamed. We must accept her in the fullness of her glory, fierce and gentle, soft and wild. Only thus will we be showered with the grace of Her presence. And to do that, we must start by remembering that we are also made of flesh and bone, that we have the capacity to know by feeling, to know through this amazing body of ours.” — The Heart of the Labyrinth
